"I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate." Julia Child

Oh the memories I have of Christmas growing up are delightful and delicious LOL! Mom just had a way of making everything about the holidays better and especially with her food! She would cook the traditional meal of turkey, ham, stuffing etc…and she would cook the traditional Tongan food too like, lupulu, long rice, pulu masima, yams etc… Funny thing is AFTER we’d gorge on this feast she would say something like, “Lyla you so fat, galm town (calm down)!” Oh mommy what I would give to hear you say that just one more time!

Every now and again she would say to me to come and watch how she cooked something or to help her out. I would slide in help where needed and run out of the kitchen and tend to more important things like my hair, makeup, outfit of choice or talking on the phone! SO STUPID! Again, what I would give to have one more chance to stand next to the Tongan chef extraordinaire as she did her thing!

In 2009 there was a wicked ice storm here in NC and mom was at the house with us for a few days. I asked her to show me how to make keke (a yeast based scone or roll.) It is a favorite in our family, with our friends and basically the entire Polynesian community! The recipe is so simple, basically it’s just flour, sugar, water and yeast, don’t even ask about measurements because mom would say, “but a lots of flowa, some sukkah and a liddel isite in warm watah” (translation- put lots of flour, some sugar and little yeast in warm water.) Oh what I would do to hear that broken English accent again!

The way you make it is not so simple, it is an art of sorts in the world of Tongan cooking, I can’t even begin to explain it but I did find a video link on you tube that shows it. The written broken English on it and music make it all the more fun! The lesson learned here today is, if your mom or dad is good at something, and want to show you how it’s done…GO, LISTEN, WATCH AND LEARN so you don’t have to watch you tube after their gone to learn how they did it.

http://polynesiankitchen.blogspot.com/2010/12/keke-isite-recipe.html

"There are no mistakes or failures, only lessons."

Many years ago in our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, the men would have to go to a meeting called Priesthood. This was always pretty early and since most households only had one vehicle, the men would wake up early and go to that meeting. Then they would return home and pick up the family for Sunday School and the rest of church meetings that day.

My dad had a particularly hard time with this meeting, waking up that is. He would stay in bed longer than normal and mom would tirelessly awake him to go to his priesthood meeting. I am guessing sometimes dad got up on his own and went but, for the majority of the time mom always had to wake him up.

This was something mom would never forget and maybe even one of the many reasons for their marriage ending. Mom always put God and church first and she just knew everything else would fall into place. I know if dad had that same faith they could have done some wonderful things together in this life. But, that wasn't what happened and its okay.

As the years progressed and we started to date someone rather seriously she would always say to us, "marry someone you don't have to wake up for priesthood." At first this comment really didn't phase me the way it was meant. I just kind of shrugged it off and went about my merry way. She also counseled us to make sure that we marry someone who loves us more than we love him. This was always funny to me as well but, I never would forget this tidbit of advice from her either.

When Dan and I started to date and he started attending church with me (before he got baptized) this advice rang even louder in my ears. My mom was in Tonga at the time Dan started going to church with me. He would leave his home and travel clear across the street to Wynnie's house where I lived and pick me up for church. He had his Book of Mormon from the missionaries and he wore his suit from his high school graduation and he would take me to church. He would sit reverently in all the meetings and he sang all the hymns with me, he closed his eyes during prayer and he beamed when I would stand and bear my testimony.

We had a whirlwind romance and before I knew it, he proposed to me on his knee and everything! It was so sweet and I said YES! YES! YES! As far as his interest in my church goes, I didn't ask him to speak to the missionaries, he did that all on his own. I didn't ask him to contact my home teacher Steve Kron, he did that all by himself. He listened intently to what the missionaries had to say and he applied the teachings in his life. I saw this and I KNEW that even though he wasn't yet baptized that I could marry him right then. I knew he would love our babies, I knew he would work hard for our family, I knew he would always look at me and think I was the next best thing to sliced bread. I knew he would always let me win (or at least think it), I knew he would love my family, I knew he adored my mom by the way he adored his. I knew he would get baptized (and he did 7 months and 20 days) after we got married. I knew that he loved me so much, maybe even more than I could love him? NO WAY I would think, and then he would prove it yet again, over and over again! I knew he would honor his priesthood and I knew I would "never have to wake him up for priesthood"...EVER!

Lesson learned here is, LISTEN to your mother when she gives you serious advice on finding a mate, she may know a thing or 2 or 567 about that.

Thanks Mom for helping me find the right one! Side note, I sent a picture of Dan and I to mom in Tonga before we got married but telling her we were going to be soon. She wrote me back stating that the picture was beautiful and, that she approved of Danny. She felt a great relief knowing I had someone I can truly lean on and trust in and love and who loved me back. Oh how I love my Dan!

"We are divine enough to ask, and we are important enough to receive"

My mom was video taped 3 weeks before she passed away telling her life story, I am so grateful to my beautiful niece Melia who did this! What a gift she has given to our family with mom telling her life story herself to us!

There were so many great stories she told about everything leading up to leaving my dad and finally landing in Utah with 6 girls in tow. We were staying with my Uncle Teiko and his very large family and mom knew she had to make our time there short. Our first Sunday in the 18th ward in the avenues of SLC, she found herself in a Sunday School class where she was asked to introduce herself. She proceeded to tell the ward who she was and, that she was recently separated. She told them she had 6 kids and needed a rental house in the area.

In a couple of days she was making breakfast for us and there was a knock at the door. When she opened the door there was a member of the bishopric standing there, he hands my mom a huge skeleton key and says, "welcome home" and puts it in her hand. He then took us across the street to 137 2nd Avenue, it was the old governors mansion complete with 5 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, kitchen, library, living room and dining room! Mom was blown away, and as she watched her girls running around excited about their new home she instantly felt sad. She KNEW this was way over her teenie, tiny budget. She told the gentleman thank you but this wouldn't work for them, confused he looked at her and asked why not? She replied I cannot afford this home, he asked her if she could afford $70.00 a month? Mom was shocked and said yes but, I cannot afford the electric, water and gas too. He told her electric and water was $30.00 more a month and gas was a whopping $7.00 a month. Grand total of monthly rent and utilities...(WAIT FOR IT, WAIT FOR IT)...$107.00!!!!!!!!!
What an amazing blessing, apparently mom and us girls danced around the house and we were so excited to have our own place.

Word got around quickly that the lady with 6 kids had a house but no furniture. In one week, truck after truck from family and ward members pulled up with beds, living room furniture, kitchen items and more for us. In less than a month we were a fully stocked and functioning home with everything we needed. Funny thing about this story and so many more I will tell is this, although we were "poor" in some ways we were the richest people I knew. Another funny fact: I never knew I was poor? LOL!

Lesson learned here is this...ASK and you shall receive as the Lord sees fit! This was mom's BIG THING...she asked Heavenly Father daily, hourly, by the minute and second for blessings...she would then reciprocate those pleadings with a lifetime of service (that's the secret, you have got to give back more than you receive.) ASK and it shall be given you...in many ways.

 

This is my Uncle Teiko and Auntie Maka and their children standing in front of our home that was

once occupied by the governor of Utah.

 

 

Showered with Love

This is a feeble beginning at writing my life history but also trying to tell you all about the life of the most influential person in my life, my mom Mele Tilini Fonua Finau. The reason I do this is that I am trying to kill 2 birds with one stone, the one to fulfill a church goal of starting to keep a journal and the other (my own personal desire) to start writing about the many adventures and lessons I learned from my mom.

To start off, I was born on a Friday morning, September 23, 1966 to Saula John and Mele Tilini Finau. I was the youngest of 6 girls and weighed well over 9 lbs. My mom tells me that I was the most beautiful baby in the nursery because I was so big and chubby...too bad that doesn't apply to adult life. My dad wasn't present at my birth but according to my sister Janie she told him mom had another girl and from what she says he replied back with, "I don't wanna hear it." Glad to report that I did grow on my dad and he sorta thought I was a big deal many years before his death.

My mother tells me in a handwritten journal that I was the first baby she ever had a baby shower for. It was a surprise given at a buffet style restaurant in Hawaii by the women from church. Mom said she received everything a baby would need and that she was so shocked and grateful that they thought enough of her to do that for her. She would eventually use all these items for me but ones that stick out most are my "Johnny Jumper" and my harness. Yes, I said harness apparently I was a very active child and when I was outside my mom and dad would have to put me in this harness contraption and tie it to the tree. I can hear all the giggles now so QUIT!

The "Johnny Jumper" they had for me was attached to the top of a doorway and I would jump and jump until one day I pulled a spider baby attempt and was almost hanging upside down from the top of the doorway. Needless to say that was in the trash that very day. The other baby stories I can remember is this one from my sisters. They would all be in the living room watching TV and I would just walk casually up to the TV and turn it off. They were so annoyed with me because I did this every chance I got. I look at it like this, I was just trying to break them of what potentially could be a very bad habit.

Another story mom used to tell me was that as a baby it was very hard for me to fall asleep, they tried several tricks in the book which seemed to help. First trick was "rocking and rolling" to sleep. I had a transistor radio attached to my crib and my mom said she would turn it on and I would dance until I just fell over asleep. The only problem with this is when they came in to turn it off to save the battery, I would instantly wake up. Their next trick was the "ride and fry" trick. This is when they would put me in the car go to the closest McDonalds and order my all time favorite French fries. I would eat and ride in the back seat till I fell asleep and someone would carry me in.

Lesson learned here is this...all women deserve a baby shower and should be spoiled because we can all see that once the baby comes. there is plenty of stress and craziness for the poor mommy to deal with. Thanks Relief Society sisters of the ward back then who loved my mom and spoiled her for the day, she sure did deserve that after me!